We all know that every child under 10 seems to be obsessed with "Let It Go" (while every parent probably wants to put it in Room 101) but have you ever wondered what are the nation's most popular Disney songs?
If you find yourself having to entertain nieces, nephews and friends' children this bank holiday weekend (or you just feel like reconnecting with your inner nine-year-old), why not have a Disney singalong?
And now DisneyLife have issued the most popular Disney songs in the UK. That's quite a back catalogue to pick from. Click through to see who made the final 10.
10. "Beauty and the Beast" fromBeauty and the Beast
The question on everyone's lips: who will sing this in the Emma Watson live version next year?
9. "Do You Want To Build A Snowman" fromFrozen
Surely this won't be the only Frozen track to make the cut?
8. "I Just Can’t Wait To Be King" fromThe Lion King
This song from the 1994 classic is a surprisingly popular choice.
7. "A Whole New World" fromAladdin
The original is almost as good as Katie Price and Peter Andre's legendary version.
6. "Under The Sea" fromThe Little Mermaid
Still a popular party track tbh.
5. "Part of Your World" fromThe Little Mermaid
The second entry from everyone's favourite finned singer.
4. "Circle Of Life" fromThe Lion King
You might know the Elton version but can you remember the original?
3. "When Will My Life Begin?" fromTangled
Mandy Moore is our Rapunzel. Wonder if Ryan Adams talked her into doing this?
2. "Let It Go" fromFrozen
Wait, it's not number one?
1. "Try Everything" fromZootopia
Shakira sings this crazily popular tune from the 2016 hit. Which you might well never have heard of. Enjoy!
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
If you keep up to date with the reigning kings and queens of the fashion and entertainment worlds, you might have noticed that the Smith kids are absolutely killing it at the moment. Karate Kid-turned-serious actor Jaden has won over critics with his latest role in new Netflix series The Get Down and earlier this year surprised us by starring in the SS16 Louis Vuitton womenswear campaign, in a skirt, and he absolutely owned it.
His little sis, who already has an i-D cover, Marc Jacobs campaign, and new fashion story in the upcoming issue of CR Fashion Book under her glittering Chanel belt was unveiled as the face of the French fashion house's eyewear line a couple of months ago. And now Chanel has shared behind-the-scenes film footage from Willow's campaign shoot and it's safe to say we definitely weren't this cool at 15.
Karl Lagerfeld chose Smith Junior Junior as his latest muse back in March, and since then Willow has been seen consistently in Chanel, everywhere from the Met Ball to front row at the shows. Speaking to Teen Vogue in May, the precocious star stated: "Being a young African-American woman with dreads, it blows my mind that I’m a Chanel ambassador... Like, how am I a Chanel ambassador? It is so beautiful. I’m coming into a new part of my life that is completely unknown, and I’m jumping right in. All I can do from here is continue to shift paradigms and continue to push the envelope further and further. But I am doing it every day just by being myself."
In the AW16 eyewear campaign we see Willow rocking three styles – vintage, urban chic, and the Chanel Coco chain – and the latest collection features two pairs of optical glasses and three pairs of sunglasses.
Anyone who has been near a magazine, TV, or billboard starting the moment the spring thaw sets in knows how this works — the same unrealistic images are trotted out to inspire women to get ready for the beach. And no, we aren't talking about helpful photos of how to pack a picnic basket. Sick of the ever-present pressure to fit some kind of "beach body" standard, we kicked off this summer with a single mission: Take back the beach. There's still a whole month of summer left, but we can't help but feel nostalgic for all that followed.
We visited Bangladesh, Miami, Ghana, Istanbul, China, and, most recently, Cuba, to talk to women about how they view and experience the beach. We followed women into dressing rooms (not in a creepy way) and got real concerning what a terrible process swimsuit shopping can be. We learned that the beach was a major source of body panic for women, even though we know a day at the beach is really about not giving a fuck. We spoke with women who are learning to overcome their insecurities and love their bodies, and that goes back to what we've been saying all this time: It's your body. It's your summer. Enjoy them both.
Click through to see some of our favourite images from our travels, and revisit what powerful things these women had to say about their own beach bodies.
Bangladesh
Ibtida, 22, Student
"I do worry about how I look on the beach a little bit, because people are staring and making odd comments
Photographed by Sarker Protick at VII Photo Agency.
Bangladesh
Mehreen Kabir, 21, Student
"It is a common trend in our culture that a slim figure means beauty, but I don’t think this is the only way to measure or define beauty. Actually, true beauty is inside one’s heart. Yes, other people are judging my body… The pressure for me comes mostly from my family.
"I think we are not perfect in everything and we are born with imperfection, which itself is a beauty."
Photographed by Sarker Protick at VII Photo Agency.
Bangladesh
Zareen Shakila, 21, Student, Dance Teacher, & Part-Time TV Anchor
"I used to judge my own body and myself, and actually thought I had to live my life in a certain way or wear something particular to look good. But I felt it’s better I should do what my heart says. [I'd] rather let my feelings be free.
"Sometimes, in the past, I used to judge other people, but now I don’t. We live in a certain society where people will judge you, but it is up to me if I am thinking like them or living like them."
Photographed by Sarker Protick at VII Photo Agency.
Bangladesh
Fariha Tabasuam, 21, Student
"I have a feeling other people are judging my body. But I don’t do that [to others]. I don’t feel like [judging] others by their structure or body… We all are different, so why should we judge? It’s a bad practice.
"I do think about my dress — which dress I am going to wear? What [will] other people will say about my clothing and me? For these reasons, I like wearing something that no one can say any bad comments about. No one can think badly about me or look at me in a bad way."
Photographed by Sarker Protick at VII Photo Agency.
Bangladesh
Boronika Sharker, 30
"We men and women are all wearing clothes, but men look at us differently. They have a tendency to tease or harass us. And the way they look at us makes me feel ashamed. We women are talking or thinking about equality or equal rights, but we don’t actually get equal rights. We have to face harassment in different situations."
Photographed by Sarker Protick at VII Photo Agency.
Miami
Aliyah Vaughan
"I tend to suck in my stomach sometimes. Even though I am small, I still have insecurities about my stomach. I wish my waist was a little bit smaller, but you know…I think everybody is beautiful in their own way. Everybody is here on this Earth [in] different sizes, [for] different reasons."
Photographed by Wayne Lawrence.
Miami
Teneja Griifin
"I am very confident. I wouldn’t pose for a picture I didn’t feel confident posing for! I sometimes feel a little self-conscious because I’m a mum, so along with the whole pregnancy thing comes problem areas like my stomach, of course... I definitely feel like you’re pressured to feel a certain way, and it’s media-based. These celebrities come out, and they’re all super-skinny, with abs and long hair… The media makes you feel like you have to feel a certain way, [but] if you have really high self-confidence and you feel like you look good, it really doesn’t matter what people [think]. It all depends on what you feel."
Photographed by Wayne Lawrence.
Miami
Nyeria Handy & Patrice Lamar
Nyeria: "I work out a lot. Very often… I don’t eat good, but I just work out... I'm scared to get over 130."
Patrice: "In this world today, everybody is so judgmental of how they look on the outside instead of what they look inside. But all that matters is what is in the inside, because if you're not good in the inside, then how would you take care of the outside?"
Photographed by Wayne Lawrence.
Miami
Mahogany Monteith
"Before I get to the beach, I want to make sure that I look presentable before I come out and see everybody around. I want to make sure I look nice… I'm pretty sure that people do judge my body as I walk through. And I'm not too judgmental on other female's bodies. I believe everybody is pretty much made the way they are."
Photographed by Wayne Lawrence.
Miami
Jada Rogers
"I just moved to Miami, so it's definitely been a cultural adjustment for me. Everyone is always so exposed, and it's definitely something that I have to get used to. But I don’t really feel too intimidated by the cultural difference here. I feel like I fit in just perfectly because I'm confident no matter where I am.
"Personally, I don’t have the time to judge others. I'm very free-spirited, very down-to-earth, very humble."
Photographed by Wayne Lawrence.
Ghana
Tashi Makeda
"I don't think about how I look when I'm at the beach — I just like to be in the water. The body is just a shell, and everybody has a body. We are not supposed to look the same. People might judge me, especially because I have tattoos and an eyebrow piercing, but I just allow it and smile over it. I don’t have any problems with my body."
Photographed by Nana Kofi Acquah.
Ghana
Rosemary Kusi
"I would rate my confidence level at 50%, because I'm not bold enough. But, I don't feel pressure to change my body — I love the way I am. [If anything, I'd want to] gain a little weight in my hips and ass. People love hips and ass, and the more you gain weight on your body, your beauty also increases."
Photographed by Nana Kofi Acquah.
Ghana
Fatima Abdul Karim
"I'm from Mali, visiting relatives here. I feel 100% confident right now. My legs look nice. I don't know what size I am; I just try on clothes and if any of them fit, I buy them."
Photographed by Nana Kofi Acquah.
Ghana
Judith Mensah
"I just went through my things and felt like wearing this to the beach with my family. I feel confident right now, because I am happy. [There are some things] I don't like about the way I look: My face has pimples, and I have stretch marks at my armpit. But, I like my thighs, legs, and stomach — they are beautiful."
Photographed by Nana Kofi Acquah.
Ghana
Christabel Frimpong
"I feel comfortable and cool, and I like the way I am. I'm wearing what [everyone else on the beach] is wearing right now, so why should they judge me?"
Photographed by Nana Kofi Acquah.
Istanbul
Almine, 20, Student
"My favourite part of my body is my skin. I have very pale skin. Usually that's not something people like; it's often seen as a downside. I also like being fat. I don't know, I don't really like thin girls. I like chubbiness.
"I don't feel any pressure [to look a certain way] whatsoever. As long as people aren't uncomfortable, that's what's important. My family has always been very relaxed, and they raised me that way.
"Of course, we can't always be happy. Sometimes, we have our issues. [But] generally speaking, you're alive, you have your health, you have the ability to move around, your family is healthy. That's most important."
Photographed by Holly Pickett.
Istanbul
Mathilde
"My favourite parts of my body are my hair and my breasts... I have to admit [that I look at people's bodies]. Totally... Not to compare, but to see.
"The society, and the media, [pressure you to be] skinny and tan. But I don't really care, I don't really read...fashion magazines. It's not my favourite thing. So, I know there is a pressure I think you have to ignore."
Photographed by Holly Pickett.
Istanbul
Sema, 28, Works At A Bartering Firm
"There is a pressure to have a certain type of body. [It's like] you shouldn't have a belly, you need to have thin legs...you shouldn't have small breasts, maybe you can do silicone."
"When you look at the Ottoman times, women were meatier
Photographed by Holly Pickett.
Istanbul
Louise, 20, Economics Student
"I thought I had come to think that I am totally confident, that I can go in a bikini everywhere. But today, I'm actually feeling self-conscious."
Photographed by Holly Pickett.
Istanbul
Emine Okoz
"My favourite thing about my body is my fingers. They are long and I think they're beautiful... Both my fingers and toes, I love them all.
"But I don't really feel self-confident in my bikini. I worry about my belly, and I don't feel so good. I mean, I care what the society thinks.
"I do look at other people that way... I don't think about it when I'm doing it. I criticise without thinking. But after that, when I experience the same situation, when it's me who is criticised, I feel that I shouldn't do it. But I don't think about it when I criticise."
Photographed by Holly Pickett.
China
Wang Hong, 55, Retired
"I come here to swim every morning at 5:30. Swimming is kind of a very cool sport! I love to look bold and wild on the beach. This is actually my first day wearing facekini, I heard it can block sunshine and jellyfish. My favourite part of myself is my face, that’s why I wear facekini. I don't want to get sunburn. I'm very confident now. "
Photographed by Heyson Du.
China
Li Lizhen, 58, Factory manager
"I wear facekini from March to October when I swim, every year for five years. I'm quite used to wearing it, and I don't care any judgment. I love the mountains around the sea, here the scenes are beautiful. I'm pretty confident with my look today."
Photographed by Heyson Du.
China
Wang Guilan, 57, Retired
"I love the waves of the sea. I'm proud that I have muscles in my arms. Me and my friends, we don't judge each other, instead we appreciate and say good things to each other. I'm very confident with my look today."
Photographed by Heyson Du.
China
Sui Li, 47, General Manager of bicycle company
"I'm confident with my look on the beach. I love the scenes around me. My skin colour is lighter than most of the others, I like it. I don't care too much about the judgment because I don't take it seriously."
Photographed by Heyson Du.
China
Li Lizhen, 58, Factory manager
"I love everything about the beach, the waves, the people, the sea. I think I'm in good shape in my age, and I'm very confident wearing this outfit today. I don't care if people judge me since I'm around 60. Happiness and health are the most important things to me. I've been wearing facekini swimming for five years. "
Photographed by Heyson Du.
Cuba
Camila Anido Beltran, 29, Seamstress
“I’m not that comfortable with my body at the moment because I’m slightly over my ideal weight. I work Monday to Saturday, from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., so I have no time to go to the gym, as I’d like to. It’s not something that keeps me up at night —it’s not like I think I’m ugly, but I’d like to change that about me.
“I love the beach. For me, these trips start the night before, when I start getting ready: I choose what I’m going to wear, I wax… It involves a lot of preparation because you want to look good. And I never leave my sunglasses behind! These are welded to my face because the sun is very intense these days.”
Photographed by Sven Creutzmann/Mambo photo/Getty Images.
Cuba
Emilsi Castillo Castañeda, 28, Chemistry Teacher
“I’m very comfortable with my body. I enjoy working out, which I do almost every day, except on Sundays.
“I love my hair. It’s tied now because it’s uncomfortable to wear it down with all the wind and the sand here, but I always let it down when I´m not at the beach. I’m very proud of it; this is my natural colour; I don’t die it.
“I don’t get along well with the sand or the sun. That´s why I wear shorts and this top, so I don´t get sand everywhere. I only wear bikinis to swimming pools.”
Cuba
Liannet Sanchez Reyes, 25, Former Taekwondo Junior Athlete
“I used to wear bikinis all the time to come to the beach, but now I’m a little ashamed of the stretch marks my pregnancy left on my belly. I put on more clothes on top of the bikini, to disguise that. I either wear a knit wrap or any other kind of beach wrap.
“In general, I’m content with my body. I would have liked to be taller, but that’s no big deal.
“A good thing about the beach is that when you look around, you see people that are in worse shape than you are, and they don't seem to care. That has an encouraging effect on me.”
Photographed by Sven Creutzmann/Mambo photo/Getty Images.
Cuba
Ana Luisa Cepero Crespo, 21, Cabaret Dancer
“I like my body. My least favourite thing about it is that my belly tends to bump out a little. I try not to eat too much, so I can keep it to a minimum.
“I do look at other women on the street, mainly at those who are a little overweight. But it’s not that I think less of them, it’s more about me, and how I wouldn’t like to look like that.
“The most attractive thing about me is the way I walk. As a dancer, I know how to move with style — how to walk rhythmically. I think I’m hot and I like to show off.”
Photographed by Sven Creutzmann/Mambo photo/Getty Images.
Cuba
Yamilca Martinez Torres, 41
“I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy. I’ve been wanting to start exercising ever since I gave birth, but I haven’t had the time, especially not after I went back to work.
“Right now my big belly is a concern for me. I look fat. I didn’t know what to wear for this trip to the beach today, for example. I argued with myself: ‘Should I wear shorts instead of a bathing suit?’ I ended up buying this one. Normally, I wear clothes and accessories that help push in my stomach.
“I’d like to look different –and soon I’ll be taking care of that by going back to the gym. But it’s not something that has affected the way I live my life; I continue to go out and do everything normally.”
Photographed by Sven Creutzmann/Mambo photo/Getty Images.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
For girls who are blind in India, options are limited.
That's especially true when it comes to getting an education.
UNICEF statistics put female primary school attendance in India at around 82%, but in parts of the country, it can still be difficult for girls to access an education. And for those with a disability, sometimes rejected by their families, it can be even harder.
That’s where one school is stepping in.
Shree Pragnachakshu Mahila Seva Kunj, located in the Gujarat area of India, provides a home, education, and a sense of family to girls and women who are visually impaired.
Photographer Sarker Protick visited the school in March to document the lives of the girls living there.
“One of the things in my mind [was always], How do I do it the right way,” he told Refinery29 by phone from Bangladesh. He said he was very aware of the irony of documenting girls who are blind via photography. “Everything I do is really based on my eyes. And there I was, with these women, these girls who don’t need that.”
The school teaches its roughly 200 students a variety of subjects, from music to practical skills like cooking and small repairs. Some topics are aimed at helping them lead independent lives and find work — the school teaches classes in electrical wiring, computer operation, typing, and sewing.
The school, which was founded in 1995, is run by a married couple, Pankajbhai and Muktaben Dagli, who are both blind themselves. Protick, who stayed at the school for four days, said that the Daglis have a very strong relationship with their students — some of whom they've adopted.
"Before going there, I didn’t expect it to be that personal," he said. He thought it would be like the kind of non-governmental aid organisation school that he'd seen before. Instead, he saw a family.
"When I went, I realised that it’s something very different than anything I have normal experience [of] before," he said. "The relationship there was so different."
Ahead, see the beautiful and moving photos of the girls at Shree Pragnachakshu Mahila Seva Kunj.
This interview has been lightly edited for grammar and clarity.
Protick's photographs from the school are marked by a soft, ethereal style.
“I have seen stories about [children] or people [who are blind], but [all the stories] are dark or very black-and-white” as if to make the story itself dark and hopeless, Protick said.
“For me, that whole experience there was not dark. I felt more energy there that I never felt before anywhere. They didn’t seem really sad. They are happy,” he said.
Photographed by Sarker Protick / VII Photo
India is home to almost 8 million individuals who are blind. According to The Deccan Herald, that's about 20% of the international blind population. Almost three-quarters of them are visually impaired due to preventable causes like cataracts or glaucoma. According to The Times of India, a serious shortage of eye-care professionals contributes to the rise of visual impairment.
According to a 2015 UNESCAP report, the employment rate for women with disabilities is over 30% lower than that of men with disabilities in India, leaving them vulnerable to poverty that is difficult to escape.
Photographed by Sarker Protick / VII Photo
Protick said that the Daglis, who are both blind themselves, treated their students like their own children.
“Today, [the] Daglis are proud parents of 200 girls [who are blind]. Every girl [who is blind] has a history which is so sensitive that if one listens to it, tears will start flowing from one’s eyes,” the couple’s biography on the school’s website reads.
Photographed by Sarker Protick / VII Photo
It's an acceptance that many of the young women need. Protick related a story that he was told during his visit.
“There was this girl who was born blind and her parents didn’t take care of her," he recounted. "One day, her uncle took her [on a train]… and after two days of train journey, she was left on the train. Her uncle said that he was just getting down on the station to buy something, but never returned. Basically, they just abandoned her because she was a woman and blind.”
Photographed by Sarker Protick / VII Photo
In addition to an education, the school provides its students with food, shelter, and clothing — completely free. It means that the girls and women who live there are able to stay, regardless of their financial means.
Photographed by Sarker Protick / VII Photo
Besides educational services and a sense of family, Pragnachaksu also offers matrimonial matchmaking help, finding spouses for the individuals in their care, if they want it.
The marriages are set up between the girls and other visually impaired men to help avoid stigma and resentment. The school boasts that it's arranged nearly 100 marriages in eight years.
From donors associated with the school, the new brides receive gifts of household items to help them set up their new lives. "In the past, this institution by the help of one donor has also given a residential house to one [girl who is] blind," the school states.
Photographed by Sarker Protick / VII Photo
Protick said that the four days that he spent photographing the residents of Shree Pragnachakshu Mahila Seva Kunj made him appreciative of his own sight.
"Being there, having my full abilities to see...it was a very strange feeling. It made me very grateful for what I have," he said. "Sometimes we take [it] for granted. We don’t realise that what we have is something very special."
Photographed by Sarker Protick / VII Photo
Protick says that he "absolutely" feels that it is important to document Pragnachakshu and tell the stories of its girls.
"It would be something I would go back to again when I can, even if [no one] sent me there," he said.
Photographed by Sarker Protick / VII Photo
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
On a recent trip to the beach, my friend asked me if he could compliment my tan. It took me a minute to realise what he meant. My family is Indian, my parents moved to the States several years before I was born, so my skin is always naturally some shade of brown. My buddy said he'd never presume to casually turn to a person of colour and exclaim, "Nice tan!"
Point taken.
But in my case, I told him to fire away. My beach game has been strong this year, and as summer winds to a close, I’ll be doing everything I can to keep my skin looking golden-brown well into fall.
I realise this runs contrary to how some people with my skin tone approach the end of another season in the sun. Beauty headlines about treating sunspots, exfoliating for skin renewal, and even applying flat-out skin-lightening products speak to certain ethnicities of women for whom fair skin is the ideal, my mother among them. Full disclosure: I’m a guy, and the most elaborate product I use on my face is moustache wax. So I am not the target audience for these products. But as a second-generation immigrant, I also grew up with a very different attitude toward my skin tone than my parents did.
When we were kids, my folks made every effort to assimilate my brother and me. So much so that I rarely thought about having a different skin colour than my mostly white peers. Perhaps my point of view would have developed differently had I grown up around more Indian kids, or other children of colour. But as it happened, I adopted a similar attitude toward melanin as my white friends. At my private school, having a tan was a sign of status; it meant tropical vacations with a family who had money and time to spare on leisure.
But when I started purposely wanting to tan my skin, my parents thought I was nuts. Firstly, they’re doctors, so they were sure to inform me at a young age about the dangers of sun damage. Though my skin’s melanin protects me from getting sunburned as quickly as my paler friends, it doesn’t make me immune — neither from painful burns nor from skin cancer.
There came a turning point at which darkening my skin in the sun transformed into a very personal, even prideful, choice: I love being brown.
I learned from my parents, and from my own experience in the sun (not to mention a stint working for a health magazine) that wearing the proper SPF is just as important for me as for anyone else. Sunscreen doesn’t prevent skin from getting tan (my parents taught me that, too).
Beyond issuing me medical warnings, my parents also come from a culture where the ideal of having fair skin has a long, convoluted history — one that is deeply rooted in class, caste, and sectarian division. India’s robust industry of lightening products promises to deliver complexions closer to those of Bollywood’s leading players, who are almost invariably very light-skinned. The pressure for women to be lighter-skinned is much stronger, while the Bollywood culture is more forgiving and readily accepting of men with slightly darker complexions.
Incidentally, I can see how this plays out close to home. My dad doesn't give much thought to his tan, which can grow several shades darker as he spends more time outside during summer. Meanwhile, no brim is too wide for my mum, who has an impressive collection of visors and sun hats. Oversized shades have likewise been one of her fashion hallmarks since the '80s. She takes these measures to protect her skin from damage, but also to maintain her natural fairness — the colour she has been her entire life, the one that makes her feel most like herself.
And here I was pursuing the opposite ideal.
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
I'll admit with some embarrassment that, at first, I was blindly marching to the drumbeat set by my white peers in their pursuit of the perfect tan. I didn’t think of myself as different from them. I realise what a blessing it is that I was able to maintain that ignorance, because I didn’t face the kind of racism that so many people of colour do. I didn’t look at them and think, I want to be white; in some sense, I already felt that I was.
But as I grew more self-aware, I turned to embrace my cultural difference rather than remaining wilfully blind to it. College happened, I moved away from home, and I woke up. There came a turning point at which darkening my skin in the sun transformed into a very personal, even prideful, choice: I love being brown. As an adult, tanning to me is about highlighting my difference, rather than falling in line with what anyone else is doing.
I like how it feels to be different than my white friends, and I love that something as relaxing as lying on the beach helps me feel more like myself when I look in the mirror afterward. I imagine it’s the same feeling someone who loves her freckled cheeks gets when she sees herself smiling back in her reflection. When my skin inevitably lightens during winter, I often feel I look sallow and even vaguely like my body is betraying me. After I come in from the sun, I feel my face looks healthier and more like my own, that even my limbs look somehow stronger and more capable. Tanning to me is not about showing off to anyone that I’m winning at summer by spending time at the beach. It’s about feeling confident in my own skin, and like I am presenting the best version of myself to the world.
Would anyone think to ask whether a white person who likes to tan is ashamed of being white?
But just because for me, darkening my skin is about pride, that doesn’t mean for someone like my mum, striving for fair skin means she is ashamed of being Indian. Isn’t it a double standard to turn around and accuse people of colour who strive for lighter skin of cultural shame? Would anyone think to ask whether a white person who likes to tan is ashamed of being white?
Like any other decision we make in how to present our bodies, whether someone enjoys being tan or prefers to have fairer skin is deeply personal and wrapped up in questions of identity politics. Of course, race is not a choice — and effecting any change in skin tone certainly isn’t as simple as, say, dyeing your hair. But how we feel about our complexions and what they mean to us? It’s hard to think of anything more personal than that.
As for me, so many of us in this country will tell you that it's not easy, but I love not being white. When I'm tan, I feel more like myself — a beautifully brown, nonwhite American. And yes, you may pay me your compliments for that.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Update: A French court overturned the ban on burkinis in public beaches introduced earlier this summer, the AP reports. The decision comes after a series of images of women dressed modestly being approached by armed policemen on the French Riviera have gone viral. Per the ban, a burkini-clad woman would need to remove the covered-up swimsuit to avoid being fined €38 (£33).
This ruling specifically concerns Villeneuve-Loubet, a town in southeastern France. But the court's decision is expected to reach 30 other coastal towns in the French Riviera that have adopted similar bans on the modest garment, per the AP. (The ban in Cannes, which was put in place at the end of July, is set to lift on August 31, CNN reported.) Women who have been ticketed for wearing burkinis on the beach will be able to contest the charges, according to one of the human rights lawyers that argued against the widely criticised decree.
France's decision to police the clothing women can wear on the beach has sparked a worldwide conversation about the ethics — and the legality — of such restrictions. Aheda Zanetti, the Australian designer credited as the burkini's inventor, argued that the government's reasoning behind the ban completely missed the point of the garment, in a column for The Guardian. "It's just a garment to suit a modest person, or someone who has skin cancer, or a new mother who doesn't want to wear a bikini, it's not symbolising Islam," Zanetti wrote. "This has given women freedom, and they want to take that freedom away? So who is better, the Taliban or French politicians? They are as bad as each other."
Despite the restrictions in France, burkini sales have reportedly gone up since the ban was put in place, according to Zanetti.
This story was originally published on August 12, 2016.
Burkinis are full-body swimsuits that allow women to cover their bodies while still being able to enjoy the sun, sea and sand a typical beach has to offer.
Well, the Mayor of Cannes is offended by women being able to dress how they like in the sun, and has banned burkinis on beaches of the French Riviera resort.
Lisnard said anyone "wearing improper clothes that are not respectful of good morals and secularism" would be banned from accessing beaches.
"Beachwear which ostentatiously displays religious affiliation, when France and places of worship are currently the target of terrorist attacks, is liable to create risks of disrupting public order," he added.
France remains on high alert after a series of terrorist attacks, including the July truck attack, claimed by Islamic State, in which 85 people died in nearby Nice.
Cannes will still allow other religious symbols, such as the kippah, Jewish skullcap, and the Christian cross on the beach. Muslim women will still be permitted to wear the veil over their hair.
Anyone caught ignoring the burkini ban will be fined €38 (£33) if they fail to leave the beach or change into another swimsuit.
According to reports, no one has been caught wearing a burkini since the ban came into force in late July.
Many have voiced opposition to the ban and The League of Human Rights (LDH), a human rights NGO in France, said it would challenge it in court.
Local LDH leader Herve Lavisse said politicians in the region should "calm their discriminatory ardour and defend the spirit of the Republic," the BBC reported.
"I was so excited when a pregnancy test finally came up positive. Within a week I'd picked out the nursery furniture, the buggy, the names," says Néna, who was 27 the first time she miscarried. "None of my friends had kids at that point, but my best friend had fallen pregnant a month earlier, so I felt like we were in it together."
At 11 weeks, Néna and her husband couldn't wait any longer and told their families. "I hadn't had any sickness, we were going to have the scan the following week and everything felt fine, no bleeding or scary stuff," she says. But then came the moment neither of them had been prepared for. "We went for the scan when I was 12 weeks and three days. I knew what I was expecting to see, but I didn't see it – it was just empty. It was black. The bottom fell out of my world."
Despite not experiencing any bleeding, Néna had suffered a miscarriage. "It's called a blighted ovum, which means there's an issue with the egg. Basically your body still thinks you're pregnant, so it was still growing all the bits to support a baby that wasn't there," she explains. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage – although the figure drops closer to one in ten for women in their 20s – but it's so rarely talked about that women often feel isolated and left in the dark when that loss strikes.
For Amy, who was 21 when she miscarried, the experience was more drawn out, but no less devastating. "I was only about 8 weeks pregnant and was on the train when I started having this pain – oh my god, it was terrible," she remembers.
By the end of her hour and a half journey Amy was losing blood, and went straight to the nearest hospital. "They kept telling me 'it's just your body getting used to you being pregnant', but I still knew something wasn't right. I was losing a lot more blood than I knew was normal – it was like I was having a period."
After "the longest 48 hours of my life, waiting for a scan", Amy was given the news she'd been dreading. "I think it's harder in your 20s because you don't have the life experience to know how to handle such a big thing," she says. "I had comments like 'lucky it happened sooner rather than later', and 'everything happens for a reason'. But what is the reason? Why? You become bitter."
It's so rarely talked about that women often feel isolated and left in the dark when that loss strikes
For both women, one of the hardest things about miscarrying so young was the isolation. "I didn't have anyone my own age to talk to about it. My friends were all still going out, going on holidays, whereas I was engaged and ready for a family – I was living that life instead," says Amy.
Néna had to distance herself from her pregnant best friend, but says she was really supportive. "I think she knew I couldn't necessarily be around her, but she popped around one day and left a box of bath stuff and a hot water bottle with a lovely note. She was brilliant, I'll never forget that," she says.
However, other friends that Néna had expected to understand said some of the most unhelpful things. "It's like a silent grief, but people don't get that – they'd say 'at least you know you can get pregnant', or 'my cousin had a stillbirth and that was worse.' The only thing you can say to a woman who has lost a baby is: 'That’s awful, I'm sorry.' Nothing makes you feel better," she says.
"Another friend fell pregnant a month or two later. I so wanted to be happy for her, but I was so unhappy for myself," Néna adds. "I don't think you ever get over it – even now. It was an awful thing to happen at an age when I should have been in my prime. These things shouldn't happen to someone that age but sadly they do, and nobody tells you until it happens."
Rachel was just 18 when she had her first miscarriage, and "just didn't think it would happen to me." Now 25, she's suffered a devastating 12 miscarriages over the last seven years. Each time it happened, Rachel says: "It was heart-breaking. I wanted to end my own life because I felt like I wasn’t a real woman. I kept thinking, 'what am I doing wrong? I was trying everything I could to have a baby."
She adds: "I didn't talk to anybody about it, even my partner. His way of dealing with it was working all the time, and I just blanked it out. People were always very nice to me, but they'd say things like 'you're so young, you've got so long' – but I wanted to choose when I would become a mum."
People would say things like 'you're so young, you've got so long' – but I wanted to choose when I would become a mum
After her first four miscarriages, Rachel gave birth to her daughter two-and-a-half years ago, and is due to marry her partner next year, but they've struggled to have another baby. "Sometimes I fall pregnant one month after another, and miscarry each time, sometimes I go a couple of years without falling pregnant, and that's worrying," she says. "We aren't trying at the moment, because it's too hard when it doesn't happen, but we're not not-trying. Hopefully one day I'll have another."
Néna also went on to have a baby 18 months ago, shortly after turning 30, but miscarried again when her son was just seven months old. "The physical side of that one was horrendous, but that desperation had gone because I had my baby," she says. "Even when motherhood's been hard I haven't cared, because I went through so much shit to get him that I'm going to savour every minute."
For Amy, who's now 32 weeks pregnant: "The thought of getting pregnant again [after the miscarriage] scared the life out of me. I couldn't relax and enjoy this pregnancy until about 18 weeks. I was being sick an awful lot and having spotting – so I kept thinking it was happening again," she says. "Now I know everything's fine and he's due in October. It will be a year on from when I had the miscarriage."
Congratulations! It’s your special day. You just got engaged (or married) and you’re jetting off to some fabulous destination to celebrate your love. You board your plane with confirmed economy-class seats and pray to the upgrade gods that your flight crew is so ecstatic about your newly minted union that they whisk you off to first class with champagne on ice, fine chocolates, and ample legroom. Of course, it's all on the house.
But is it actually possible to snag an upgrade, or is it just a far-fetched dream you fantasise about while a toddler-gone-wild kicks the back of your ordinary, cramped seat?
Most airlines are bound by operating manuals and a drive for revenue, so they're not likely to openly admit that they give upgrades to lovebirds flying with them, though some flight crews will unofficially offer special treats for couples travelling on their honeymoon.
There have been plenty of stories of couples popping the question at altitude or newlyweds getting thrilled at 30,000 feet (and one heartwarming story where a flight attendant ended up serving as the witness for two passengers getting married). There was also the recent story of a man who plotted with Austrian Airlines to both propose to and marry his now-wife inflight. They may not have been given a traditional seat upgrade, but they sure did enjoy the royal treatment.
“As for upgrades, customers are always welcome to ask, however, it very much depends on the bookings and availability. The Emirates cabin crew does make its best efforts to make the experience special for honeymooners,” said Emirates spokesperson Melanie Garvey.
Similarly, Hawaiian Airlines, which flies many lovebirds to their tropical honeymoon destinations, won’t admit to giving free upgrades, but spokesperson Alison Croyle relayed that it "always provides the aloha spirit to the many newlyweds travelling to our beautiful islands to celebrate their I Dos.”
That seemed to be the official sentiment of nearly every major airline that was asked to comment. While it’s not out of the question to snag an upgrade to business or first class, remember that there’s no secret formula to guarantee it — unless you fork over the dough to secure your premium seat.
That said, here are some tips to help increase your odds:
Be nice to your flight crew.
A little smile and salutation to your flight attendants can go a long way. They deal with irate people and tense circumstances all day, so if you’re the one in 1,000 who gives them a big, genuine smile and friendly greeting, it will only play in your favour. If you really want to score points, buying your flight crew a box of chocolates is one way to bolster your case for an upgrade. If you position the gift as “we’re so excited that we just got engaged and wanted to share the love,” they just might be more likely to go the extra mile for you.
Be a loyal flyer.
Airlines favour loyalty. Join a programme or two on the airlines you like best and try to fly those more frequently. If you have some miles stored up or a higher status, you’re more likely to be considered for an upgrade. And you might jump to the front of that list if it’s your honeymoon or special occasion.
Travel off-peak.
Some airlines are super-rigid when to comes to upgrades or even switching seats, regardless of how full the plane is, but if you fly on off-peak days and times (Tuesday afternoons and Saturday nights, for instance, when business travellers are less likely to fill the pricier seats), you might have better odds of landing an upgrade.
The verdict? There’s no secret formula when it comes to getting upgraded to luxury. It comes down to one part strategic positioning, one part kindness, and several parts luck.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Sure, colour fading looks cute when it comes to our hair and our jeans, but we like the ombré effect best adorning our interiors. Which is handy, because (judging by the internet-du-jour) there doesn’t seem to be much in the home inspiration folder that hasn’t had an encounter with a vat of dye. From wallpapers to shower curtains and cushions, there’s a plethora of ombré-d things on the home circuit to give your living quarters a subtle wash of colour, and you can even have a go at a spot of dip-dye DIY.
Click on for our favourite buys and makes out there...
Stationery addicts take note. Danish arbiter of cool Hay’s Plissé folder will keep all your affairs in order in the most stylish of ways, with a flash of ombré at every opening. That’ll brighten up your filing.
New this season from lighting aficionados Heal’s, these handmade woollen Fan lampshades by Janie Knitted Textiles combine soft woollen threads with cool geometric frames. Leading lights indeed.
Made.com’s dipped bed linen has a definite holiday vibe – all at once uplifting and calming thanks to its sky blue hue. Snuggle down and pretend you’re in Santorini.
If the thought of an injection of colour has you recoiling in horror, French Connection’s linen cushions in understated grey shades are a way to work the trend into your monochrome scheme subtly. Softly does it.
Feeling crafty? Try your hand at making your own ombré creations. The great thing about the dip-dyed look is that it’s supposed to look handmade and slightly imperfect, so even your most cack-handed efforts can be shown off with pride. This mini planter DIY by One Brass Fox is a nice project to test the waters with.
With its watery, painterly looks, ombré is a natural fit for the bathroom environment, so give yours an upgrade with a wash of colour – CB2’s shower curtain is an effortless update.
British furniture manufacturer Ercol has given its classic Originals Love seat a 21st century update with a sexy colour fade. A perfect balance of tradition and modernity, it’s just the thing for spicing up kitchens and hallways.
The best way to dip a toe in dip-dye? With a rug, surely! West Elm’s Horizon design will bring an opulent mood to any space with its gradient of inviting blues. Dive in…
Like a Miami sunset, this gorgeous mural by Murals Wallpaper will give your walls depth and your home a soothing glow all year round. Now you just need to perfect your wallpaper hanging technique…
ITV switched off all seven of its channels at 9.30 a.m. on Saturday morning to encourage what is being billed as "the nation's biggest ever sports day."
Viewers who tuned into the channels were greeted by a holding screen which read: "Gone high-jumping, back at 10.30 a.m."
Named "I Am Team GB" in recognition of British athletes' recent success at the Olympics, the nationwide sports day is being laid on by the National Lottery, UK Sport and the British Olympic Association. Its aim is encourage more people to become physically active and get involved in sport, the BBC reports.
Double gold medal-winning gymnast Max Whitlock said that "hundreds of clubs and sporting venues across the UK" are taking part in the event today, the first Saturday after the Olympics, by opening their doors for free and "encouraging people to participate."
Further information is available at the I Am Team GB website, where people can type in their postcode and find out which local gyms and sports clubs are hosting free classes and events today.
Alongside Whitlock, Team GB medal winners including gymnast Amy Tinkler, rower Helen Glover and swimmer Jazz Carlin will all be dropping in at various I Am Team GB venues throughout the day.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
The Prime Minister has announced that she has ordered an "unprecedented audit" to tackle racial disparities within the UK's public services.
The audit's findings will be made public, the government said in a press release, to "give every person the ability to check how their race affects the way they are treated by public services" such as health, education and employment.
The findings, which will also be broken down by gender, geographic location and income, will ultimately be used in new government policy to solve these problems, the press release said.
Theresa May has ordered the audit shortly after a study published by the Equality and Human Rights Commission warned that government action is needed to tackle "deep-rooted racial inequality" in the UK which could "exacerbate divisions in our society." The study found that people in ethnic majority households are nearly twice as likely to be living in relative poverty than white people.
The study also found, shockingly, that a black woman living in the UK is seven times more likely to be detained under mental health legislation than a white woman.
"Today, I am launching an audit to look into racial disparities in our public services that stretches right across government," May said in the government's press release. "It will highlight the differences in outcomes for people of different backgrounds, in every area from health to education, childcare to welfare, employment, skills and criminal justice."
"This audit will reveal difficult truths, but we should not be apologetic about shining a light on injustices as never before," May added. "It is only by doing so we can make this country work for everyone, not just a privileged few."
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Transgender students and employees on University of North Carolina campuses can use the bathrooms that correspond to their gender identity, for now, the Associated Press reports. On Friday, a U.S. district judge placed a temporary injunction on the public university system's enforcement of HB2, the state's controversial "bathroom bill," on the basis that it likely violates Title IX protections against gender discrimination.
Temporary injunctions like this don't require plaintiffs to prove a violation has taken place. Rather, plaintiffs only need to offer enough compelling evidence that a violation may have occurred.
Two transgender students and a university employee, all represented by the American Civil Liberties Union, were the plaintiffs challenging the controversial legislation the North Carolina state government passed in March. Under HB2, people are legally required to use public restrooms that correspond to the biological sex on their birth certificates, rather than their gender identity.
U.S. District Judge Thomas Schroeder's injunction doesn't officially strike down the law; it only impacts restrooms on UNC campuses. Schroeder said that HB2 likely violated Title IX. He also wrote that under HB2, the three plaintiffs "will suffer irreparable harm in the absence of preliminary relief" and "an injunction is in the public interest."
Republican supporters of HB2 stood by their claim that allowing transgender people to use their preferred bathrooms could pose a public safety risk. In a statement responding to Judge Schroeder's injunction, North Carolina Senate leader Phil Berger and House Speaker Tim Moore defended HB2 as "commonsense protections to keep grown men out of bathrooms and showers with women and young girls."
The judge countered that logic in his ruling by noting other less-discriminatory laws already in place to protect restroom privacy.
"North Carolina's peeping and indecent exposure statutes continue to protect the privacy of citizens regardless of [the bathroom provision]," Schroeder wrote, "And there is no indication that a sexual predator could successfully claim transgender status as a defence against prosecution under these statutes."
For now, UNC employee and plaintiff Joaquin Carcano is relieved and energised to continue fighting.
"Today, the tightness that I have felt in my chest every day since HB2 passed has eased. But the fight is not over: we won't rest until this discriminatory law is defeated," Carcano told the Associated Press.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Is there anything that makes women more irrationally angry than hen parties? Surely not. No one appreciates being forced to spend money on flights to a destination they had no previous interest in visiting. And surely no one really enjoys an itinerary of organised fun that includes male life drawing and questionably shaped straws.
Instead, keep it classy and organise a staycation. Gather your best friends, pick up as many bottles of Prosecco as you can carry, and head away for a weekend to a house where no one has to play host. Whether you’re looking for a rural retreat or an urban escape, the wonder that is Airbnb has got you covered. To save you trawling the site in search of the perfect abode, we’ve rounded up a selection of suitable properties - click through to find yours.
Spend your hen weekend living the Jane Austen-dream at this beautiful Manor house dating back from 1670. Just a stones throw from the Cotswolds, you'll be spoilt with luscious green countryside, chocolate box villages and an excellent selection of pubs. Not that you’ll need to leave the house. This property has entertainment aplenty including an outdoor pool, table tennis and a croquet lawn. Plus, you can forget having any awkward guest list issues thanks to the additional accommodation available in the accompanying cottage.
Not getting married in a church? You could stay in one for your hen celebrations instead. This stunningly restored property comes complete with a plethora of Instagram-worthy features including original stain glass windows, a huge wood-burning stove and immense vaulted atrium. The impressive banqueting hall seats 20, making it ideal for dinner parties, and the host can arrange spa treatments at the house with therapists from Bath’s celebrated Thermae Bath Spa.
If a country escape isn’t your thing, how about a hen weekend to Brighton? Located bang in the centre of town near the pier, Laines and buzzing Kemptown, the house makes an ideal base for exploring the shopping, eating and drinking on offer. Sleeping up to 18, the decor is a Pinterest dream complete with an antique copper bath, sparkling chandeliers and quirky furniture. The large dining area is ideal for boozy brunches or long dinners and with the sea on your doorstep, popping for hangover curing dip couldn't be easier.
If you’re looking to organise a hen to impress, this is just the ticket. This charming windmill has been refurbished to provide seven floors of cutting edge design – the highlight definitely being the amazing panoramic views seen from the top of the 70ft tower. The games room will keep your fellow hens busy, and if it all gets too much you can kick back in one of many roll top baths. If the weather is kind, make like Taylor Swift and get hold of this summer’s must have accessory, the pool inflatable, and enjoy snapping many a selfie in the large outdoor pool.
Spend the weekend amongst the trees at this magical property. Set among two acres of woodland this luxury treehouse allows you to feel like you’ve got away from it all without actually having to slum it. Think modern interiors, beautiful decking and facilities such as a cinema room, a fancy Webber BBQ and an outdoor hot tub. Located in an area of national beauty and close to some of the UK’s best beaches, you couldn’t ask much more from a rural retreat.
Set in the tranquil Snowdonia National Park, this traditional long house is ideal for a large hen party wanting to escape to the country. Spend the weekend cooking up a feast in the outdoor pizza oven, put the world to rights over gin and tonics in the wood fired hot tub, and clear your fuzzy head with numerous walks in the surrounding countryside.
Wedding planning is stressful enough without having to worry about the hen, and if you’re really after a worry-free weekend then this place is just the thing. With a chef on site there will be no fighting over who has to do the cooking (or washing-up) and forget having to organise an itinerary of non-stop fun, the hosts at this property take this stress off your hands sorting horse riding or golf trips in the local area. Plus, the picturesque lakeside setting is only actually 20 miles from Edinburgh making the caste really accessible.
Find new ways to bond with your fellow hen party guests on a camping trip to Somerset. Fear not, this isn’t like being back on Duke of Edinburgh but is a luxury camping trip. Each tepee style tent feels akin to a fancy hotel room, and there’s a communal area complete with open fire, dining space and hot showers. If you're looking for a digital detox this place is ideal. However, if it gets too much you’ll be pleased to hear the local shop and, more importantly, pub are just a half a mile away.
If you need a crash pad while on a city break in Bristol this place couldn't be better located. The cosy haven is the perfect antidote to the hustle and bustle of the city and offers bed space for up to 14 hens. The pretty little garden would also make a great spot for a BBQ or an afternoon Aperol.
If you're after a more modern interior style then this barn conversion might be what you're after. Offering panoramic views of the beautiful surrounding countryside, there's no chance of being disturbed at this rural property. With multiple entertaining spaces this place is ideal for large dinner parties and playing those dreaded hen games.
Sleeps: 12
Costs: From £250 a night
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Work has been tedious and the day was unusually hot. You arrive home in a sticky mess, dreaming of a refreshing shower. Except the door won’t open, because there's another fat envelope on the floor, jamming it shut. It’s not a whacking great electricity bill, but it might as well be. You can tell from the expensive finish of the paper that this is a wedding invitation. And it's the fifth you’ve received this year.
Weddings are supposed to be joyful celebrations. They’re a day when you can wear puffy clothes, go overboard on eye makeup, and drink upwards of five glasses of champagne before 3pm. But when every other weekend is spent schlepping from one end of the country to the other for one, or even jetting to the southern Mediterranean in a short enough spell of time to conserve your annual leave, well, the novelty can wear off.
According to research from Nationwide, weddings costs the average attendee £377. In Northern Ireland, the average spend for a guest (including the hen do and the main event), is even higher, at £476. Yes, being invited to a wedding feels exclusive, and yes, it’s tempting to avoid any drama and just RSVP in the affirmative, but what if you simply can't afford it?
Lucy, 29, decided enough was enough when eight of her weekends in a row were booked up last summer. “Four of the weddings I was super-stoked to go to. The rest were schoolfriends I literally hadn’t spoken to for about a decade and the odd cousin.” She was going out of a sense of duty and politeness.
Because many of the same people were going to be at the weddings, she also had to buy new dresses to each and gifts for the happy couple. “It coincided with me deciding to change my job and I had a period where I wasn’t earning. I decided to turn down all the family ones, just telling them that I couldn’t afford to attend. They were forgiving, and I sent a small present which was received well.”
However, it doesn’t always end there. One woman I talked to (who is still embarrassed about the incident three years later) was invited to Ibiza by a new boyfriend a week before her friend's wedding. Head over heels in love, she called in sick to the wedding, feigning some kind of gruesome stomach bug, and booked a flight to Ibiza. Her friend saw some of the pictures on Instagram, and didn’t speak for two years.
Illustration by Mallory Heyer.
Confused about the best code of conduct when rejecting a wedding invitation, I sought expert advice. Debrett’s represents the height of authority when it comes to etiquette, and they confirm the most common reason for turning down a wedding invitation is cost. “Between travel, accommodation and childcare, not to mention a new outfit, attending a wedding can be an expensive proposition.”
A spokesperson for Debrett’s advised: “It’s better to decline politely than to attend out of obligation while worrying about the expense. Traditionally, a formal RSVP to a wedding invitation doesn’t require that you give a reason, and you can be equally circumspect if responding informally, while making it clear how sorry you’ll be to miss out on the day. Bear in mind, though, that according to tradition, those invited to a wedding should still give the couple a gift even if they’re unable to attend.”
Not wanting to go to a wedding can be about more than cost. Again, Debrett’s advises being tactful if there’s something at the wedding which could result in a problem. “There may be diplomatic reasons to consider: if the best man is your ex, for example, or you’re on particularly fractious terms with one of the bridesmaids, it may be wisest to stay away. The couple will no doubt be grateful for your tact rather than resentful of your absence.”
according to tradition, those invited to a wedding should still give the couple a gift even if they’re unable to attend
Jamie, 27, couldn’t face going to another wedding and didn’t have a good excuse not to attend. “She was a friend. I’d been really close to her at high school. I’d already spent about £500 on her hen party because she decided to have one abroad. It was about my free time too – she’d decided to get married on Friday to save money, but it meant taking a day’s leave. I only get 22 days off a year, so I just couldn’t face it. I sent her a private message and just said I was having a tough time, financially, and would she let me take her out for a meal?"
Jamie took her friend out for a meal, gave her a gift, and apologised in person. “I told her to share loads of pictures, and she understood where I was coming from. I reckon it’s better not being there, than showing up and being resentful.”
From a bride’s point of view, turning down a wedding invite is far better than just not showing up. The amount of time and money that goes into a wedding shouldn’t be taken for granted just because you’re feeling tired and don't want to show. RSVP in the negative so there’s no empty seat – that should save awkwardness and save the wedding couple £30.
After Helen, 55, got married a few years ago, she was left disappointed by a friend who simply didn’t show up. “One of my oldest friends simply forgot to come to our wedding. We had arranged a bed for the night with friends so the costs were not excessive. Needless to say we haven't spoken since. We had been friends for over 30 years at the time.”
As with everything in life, a little bit of courtesy goes a long way. Make your excuse in plenty of time, try to keep it honest, and, if the worst case scenario happens and you have to cancel on the day, make sure your letter is accompanied by the biggest bouquet of flowers possible, and an excessive gift.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Girls was a wonderful roller coaster of a show that gave a bird's-eye view into the raw, questioning angst of twentysomething life within a certain set of (perhaps overeducated) urban females. But alas, the ride, like all good things, must come to an end.
The sixth and final season of Lena Dunham 's magnum opus is currently filming, and while — stealthy paparazzi photos aside — it's anyone's guess what will happen in the final scenes, one thing is certain: We will have to say goodbye to the characters we have come to know so well. Starting, it seems, with Shoshanna and Jessa.
Actresses Zosia Mamet and Jemima Kirke, who play the aforementioned characters, were the first to wrap their final scenes on the series. Thanks to a little thing called Instagram, we get to come along for some of their last moments on set. And if you think bidding adieu to Shoshanna and Jessa will be hard for you, take heart in knowing that you're far from alone. Their co-stars are crying right along with you — complete with sad emoji, of course.
"Gonna miss these two too much," writes writer/producer Jenni Konner. Ditto, Konner. Ditto.
Photo: Via @jennikonner.
"And then, there were two...we're winding it down now," wrote Allison Williams. "Zosia and Jemima just finished shooting their last scenes for Girls for good. I'm too emotional to be eloquent, so I'll just say that I love you both a lot, and I'm so grateful for all your genius and sisterhood these last 6 years. And to Shosh and Jessa: I'll see you around the bend."
She then won our hearts by telling "Jessa" to "stay 'so fucking classy,'" and saluting Shosh with a panda bear. Broken-heart emoji, we couldn't agree with you more.
Photo: Via @aw.
"Today was Zosia & Jemima's final day shooting Girls (Shoshanna & Jessa's too)," posted Dunham. "It's been the most beautiful 6 years, and these women will always be sisters (mine and each other's.) Sometimes all you have to do to become a family is make some art together and laugh a lot," Lena Dunham wrote.
Photo: Via @lenadunham.
"And that's a wrap. It has been an unforgettable 6 years," Mamet captioned this picture of her character's name tag from set. "To my GIRLS family, I adore you. To our fans, thank you for continuing to watch. And HBO, thank you for giving us a home. Shosh, it's been real...ill [sic] miss you all."
Photo: Via @zosiamamet.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Cara Delevingne is encouraging women to speak more openly about their vaginas by fronting this year's Lady Garden Campaign from the Gynaecological Cancer Fund.
The campaign's aim is to remove what Delevingne calls the "taboo surrounding vaginas" so that women are more comfortable discussing symptoms which could point to one of the five forms of gynaecological cancer: ovarian, uterine/endometrial, cervical, vaginal and vulval.
"At the end of the day, speaking up is more important than being embarrassed," she tells The Sunday Times' Style magazine. "This is about saving lives - there's no time for shame." As Style reports, in the UK each year an estimated 74,000 women are diagnosed with precancerous cervical cells.
To help publicise the campaign, the Gynaecological Cancer Fund has teamed up with Topshop to create a range of Lady Garden joggers and hoodies. Priced at £28 each, they go on sale in store and on Topshop's website on the 8th of September, with 30% of proceeds going to the charity.
Delevingne shared a video of herself wearing one of the hoodies on Instagram yesterday, tagging the post with the campaign's #SilentNoMore hashtag.
A video posted by Cara Delevingne (@caradelevingne) on
To find out more about the Lady Garden campaign, follow @GynaeCancerFund on Twitter. For advice on checking the health of your vagina, visit the NHS's dedicated web page.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Facebook may be trying to get rid of any alleged bias in its recently controversial Trending Topics feature by getting rid of the human oversight that may have caused bias in the first place.
According to The AP, Facebook will be significantly reducing the role of editors in programming the trending section, which came under fire earlier this year after a Gizmodo article accused the social-media giant of suppressing stories of interest to conservative users. Mark Zuckerberg responded emphatically at the time, assuring users that both he and the company were absolutely "committed to building a platform for all ideas."
Topics appearing in the trending section of Facebook are selected by an algorithm that considers how often they are posted or shared. Moving forward, these trending lists will still be reviewed by editors, but the features themselves will no longer include headlines or summaries written by people. Instead, Facebook will now show each subject along with the number of people currently discussing it, a selection of user comments, and an excerpt from the news article.
"Our goal is to enable Trending for as many people as possible, which would be hard to do if we relied solely on summarising topics by hand," the company explained in a statement posted to its newsroom. "A more algorithmically driven process allows us to scale Trending to cover more topics and make it available to more people globally over time."
As for the allegations of political bias that surfaced around the feature earlier this year, Facebook maintains its nonpartisan stance: "We looked into these claims and found no evidence of systematic bias. Still, making these changes to the product allows our team to make fewer individual decisions about topics. Facebook is a platform for all ideas, and we’re committed to maintaining Trending as a way for people to access a breadth of ideas and commentary about a variety of topics."
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Illustrated by John Lisle.Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Password-protect your data and back up those important files on the cloud. Yep, it's that time of year again. This Tuesday, the 30th of August, messenger Mercury dips into his third of four retrogrades of 2016. Until the 22nd of September, signals could scramble with all things communication-related. Think twice before you fire off a heated email or a racy Snapchat. (And, erm, are you sending privately to a friend, or posting to your Story? Yikes!) Put a protective case on your mobile devices and triple-check that you're not leaving them on the seat of your Uber. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Mercury retrogrades are good for a few things — basically anything with the prefix "re." And since this one takes place in fussy, detail-oriented Virgo, use the next few weeks to research, review, and refine your plans and your work. You'll make everything stronger if you do.
On Thursday, eclipse season begins, a time of accelerated change and opportunity. A solar (new moon) eclipse in Virgo kicks things off this year, snapping us out of summer holiday mode and helping us get back down to business. Eclipses are like supercharged new moons, and this one could bring some exciting developments at the office. Momentum picks up on a stalled project, and hidden opportunities could pop up, seemingly out of the blue. Healthy living is the name of Virgo’s game, and this eclipse will kick-start an autumn fitness plan. Hop off the poolside lounger and actually get in the water for some laps. Or, start training for a badass indoor sport, like roller derby. P.S. This is the first of two eclipses in September. Circle the 16th for the follow-up, which is a lunar (full moon) eclipse in creative, romantic Pisces.
Virgo
August 23 to September 22
Set your Pandora to the R&B station. This Monday, amorous Venus cruises out of Virgo (sniff) but settles down in Libra and your slow-and-sensual second house. Until September 23, romance could be downright old-fashioned. Let go of the controls and allow yourself to be wooed. You don't have to be passive here. Just flirt a bit more demurely by dropping hints and attracting with your open, radiant vibes instead of outright pursuing. Attached? Spend more time in with bae: The magic happens behind closed doors.
On Tuesday, your ruling planet, expressive Mercury, slips into retrograde mode until September 22. And, alas, this time around, it's retreating through Virgo and your first house of self-expression. People will have a harder time understanding you now, so you might save any big reveals until this phase ends on the 22nd. Use the next few weeks to finesse your presentation and get all your plans up to code. Mercury retrogrades can be ultra-helpful with polishing projects to perfection — and also for getting in touch with YOUR feelings.
Not that you can hide out altogether, though. On Thursday, a solar eclipse in Virgo rocks the skies and pushes your talents into the spotlight. You’re back in the game — and thus must stay on your toes. Do everything deliberately. Or don’t do it at all, because this is a moment when you decide what’s really worth investing your time in. The annual new moon is your astrological New Year, a time to make resolutions that are all about you. Set your sights six months down the road: What would you like to accomplish by then? With this superpowered new moon giving you wings, you could soar higher than you ever expected by the Virgo full moon on March 12, 2017.
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Libra
September 23 to October 22
Magnetism, charm, and appeal: You've got that trifecta on lock because this Monday, your ruling planet, Venus, heads into Libra until September 23! The annual visit from Venus charges up your mojo and makes you sparkle and shine. You’ll have them before hello, so use these powers judiciously. Unless you want someone sticking around for the long haul — a friend, romantic interest, business contact — don’t turn it up to full volume. But if you see the potential for a long-term partnership, strike now while the iron is scorching!
Got any skeletons in the closet? Don't wait for other people to clean them out for you. This Tuesday, communication planet Mercury turns retrograde in your 12th house of transitions, helping you clear your conscience once and for all. While you're at it, take inventory of the clothes and boxes in your closet, too. A cluttered home can make it hard to concentrate. Bag up the things you know you'll never wear and donate to a charity auction — or sell on eBay for fall wardrobe funds.
Thursday’s solar (new moon) eclipse in your 12th house of fantasy passes you the rose-colored glasses once again. The time has come to turn lemons into lemonade. If you’ve been feeling more like a victim than a champion, this eclipse could bring some empowering guides like coaches, mentors, and other helpful experts. The muse is in the house, so let creativity be your catharsis. Who knows? Six months from now, you could be hanging your art in a gallery or releasing an EP. Someone you adore could use a little more compassion and compromise. But it's also time to put up boundaries. Empower people with helpful tips, but don't take on the burden of their issues anymore!
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Scorpio
October 23 to November 21
Fairy tales do come true, Scorpio. On Monday, Venus drifts into Libra and your fantasy-fueled 12th house until September 23. For a change, you’ll rock the rose-colored glasses instead of honing in on people’s “flaws.” Keep a levelheaded wingwoman handy, though, because your judgment won’t be the clearest now. Run the background checks and make sure the feelings are mutual before you open your heart. If you’re in a relationship, this Venus phase sets the stage for dream dates AND difficult discussions. Don’t go into denial; just deal with them diplomatically.
Labor Day plans could include a superfun reunion this year. On Tuesday, social Mercury turns retrograde until September 23, bringing some happy blasts from the past. Get your old squad — or the band — back together. Take extra care with your digital devices, since this retrograde hits your 11th house of technology. Keep the iced coffee far away from your laptop and make sure you're hitting "reply" instead of "reply all" when sending those private (or snarky) messages.
Like Mercury, Thursday’s solar eclipse in Virgo also rocks your 11th house of community. While you love your tried-and-true crew, lift the red velvet ropes. This eclipse could illuminate a great new candidate for your entourage. You could also find an organization that speaks to your latest interests — even ones involving activism or a more "woo" pursuit like shamanic drumming or meditation. Got ideas for an app, website, maybe your own YouTube channel? The 11th house rules technology, and this eclipse helps you get your geek on. Learning a new digital skill could bump you to a better pay grade before the year is through.
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Sagittarius
November 22 to December 21
Lighten up, Sagittarius! This Monday, charming, romantic Venus heads into Libra and your laid-back 11th house until September 23. Ruminating over the past won't get you anywhere — and you've spent enough of the summer laboring away at your desk. Bring some balance back to your life by enjoying fun for fun's sake again. Go meet your mutual friends for drinks, pool, karaoke…anything! If you’re looking for love, your social network provides. Ask your friends to play Cupid for you, arranging hangouts and inviting people who could potentially be a good match. Digital dating could yield a high, uh, click-through rate over the next few weeks, too. Swipe and ye shall find!
Not that you'll totally be able to get away from work, alas. On Tuesday, messenger Mercury turns retrograde in your 10th house of career. An assignment you thought was complete could suddenly need revising — or there could be a change of guard at the office. Give all assignments an extra coat of polish; even get a second pair of eyes to review. On a positive note, you could reconnect to an important client or colleague from the past. Maybe it's time for a sequel hit? Explore!
Another reason to keep the power suit at the ready? Thursday’s solar (new moon) eclipse in Virgo brings major momentum for your career. If a rep-boosting project or raise isn't just handed to you, no sweat. Pursue like the power player you are. Mogul status could be yours in the six months following this eclipse. Be patient with the R+D process, though, and pay any dues that are still outstanding. Influential men will lend an assist, or you could be tapped by an impressive company for a project or a job offer. Socialize strategically over the long weekend, because Labor Day could turn up a promising professional prospect.
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Capricorn
December 22 to January 19
Who says work can't feel like play, Capricorn? On Monday, glamorous, creative Venus parks in Libra and your 10th house of career until September 23. You'll get excited about work again and could even develop a special assignment that allows you to shine — and boost your status as an up-and-comer. Power-couple visions will start dancing through your head. What can you co-create with a partner? Whether for romance, business, or a creative collab, you’ll enjoy teaming up with people who bring solid skills and experience to the table. Socializing and networking can be an important part of the job, too. Plan to celebrate the long weekend in close proximity to the movers and shakers.
Don't forget that there's still one more week of summer hours. Order the rosé slushies, but go easy on the truth serum. On Tuesday, communication planet Mercury turns retrograde in your honest-to-a-fault ninth house until September 22. Your candid comments might be uttered in the spirit of service, but…too soon? People will be ultrasensitive now, and you need to flex some diplomacy here. Make sure they are ready to hear your words of wisdom before you start offering unsolicited advice.
Thursday’s solar eclipse (new moon) in your jet-setting ninth house sparks your wanderlust. São Paulo, Cinque Terre, San Francisco? As the zodiac’s hardest-working sign, you’re slow to use those vacation days — at least if the travel isn't work-related. But you’ve finally hit your threshold and it’s time to go. Capitalize on low-season rates and add a new passport stamp. This eclipse could even reveal a friend from afar who is happy to host or apartment-swap. If you can’t hop a plane now, schedule the vacay for the coming six months and start planning and prepping now. And with Mercury retrograde, make sure to book everything through reputable firms and leave an hour earlier than usual for the airport. Entrepreneurial Capricorns — or those of you headed off to the ivory tower — will get a burst of momentum from the eclipse. Get plans under way for your empire, or look into schooling and training programs to help you go pro!
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Aquarius
January 20 to February 18
Wander + lust = wanderlust. And, Aquarius, this equation is just what the love doctor has on tap for you over the coming three weeks. On Monday, Venus slips into your worldly, adventurous ninth house until September 23. If you're traveling, Cupid will be your companion, setting the stage for some serious romantic sparks to fly. Pack a date-night outfit because you could be breaking dawn on the beach with a sexy local — or bonding with bae over the new passport stamps you collect. Sparks could fly with a cutie from a different culture, or even an expat who’s relocated to your town. Keep your ears perked for intriguing accents.
Got secrets? We suggest you start spilling them, Aquarius, before someone else puts their spin on the situation. From Tuesday until September 22, expressive Mercury will be retrograde in your esoteric eighth house. Certain private matters should stay locked in the vault. Make sure your personal documents are password-protected — and delete any messages or posts that could potentially come back to haunt you.
On Thursday, a solar (new moon) eclipse also strikes in your eighth house — another reminder to put a firm privacy policy back in place. This eclipse helps you deepen a few key relationships. You might even get engaged or exchange keys with your S.O. Don’t move ahead without a solid exclusivity clause, though. For a change, it’s YOU who wants clarity about where you stand with people. With Mercury retrograde, you could get a second chance with "the one who got away." Just don't invite a toxic ex back into your life. Do you really need to learn that lesson again? If you've been heading for Splitsville, the eclipse could push you over the edge, giving you the courage to fly free from an unsatisfying alliance. Or you could meet someone who has “soul mate” written all over them. Let the relationship develop organically over the next six months.
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Pisces
February 19 to March 20
Entering #MinxMode. This Monday, Venus shimmies into Libra and your seductive eighth house until September 23. Your enchanting allure will draw admirers — and the mysterious types will captivate you in return. Depth, character, and a poetic soul: That's what turns you on, but make sure anyone you entertain as an option has long-term potential, too. With Venus here, you're playing for keeps, so lust and trust have got to be a package deal!
On Tuesday, compromising and cooperating could feel like farfetched ideas as Mercury turns retrograde in your relationship house until September 23. Take a deep breath and remember: You're on the same team! If you've been giving more than you're comfortable with, it's time to even out the score. But careful about pointing fingers. You participated in this dynamic, too, Pisces, and it could take a few weeks to get everything back to a state of equilibrium. An old flame could return, begging for your love and attention. Unless it was merely bad timing that kept you apart, it's probably best to keep that chapter closed.
Thankfully, Thursday’s solar (new moon) eclipse will bring positive news for partnerships. You could meet someone with "happily ever after" potential — or even discover that those feelings are brewing with someone you've known for a while. Opposites attract, so don’t rule out anyone just because they’re not your usual type; in fact, this eclipse could bring a surprising attraction to someone who falls WAY outside your prior parameters. Existing relationships could level up, both for business and romance. You need certainty — and in some cases, a formal contract — in order to relax and explore the full potential of your pairing. Have “the talk” this weekend, but don't dump all your insecurities into the conversation. Instead, paint a beautiful picture of what the two of you can create together. Who could possibly say no to that?!
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Aries
March 21 to April 19
Double up, Aries: This Monday, Venus floats into Libra and your seventh house of relationships, getting you in a couple-y headspace until September 23 (and beyond). Two-person ventures take off at a faster clip, for both business and pleasure. Bring more creativity and playful energy into your existing pairings. Co-host a Labor Day bash or get to work on a DIY or art project together. Some Aries might even put a ring on it over the next four weeks! Single? Remember this: You’ll catch more flies with honey than you will with sarcastic wit.
Keep your competitive urges in check at work and at the gym. On
Tuesday, Mercury slips into a signal-scrambling retrograde until September 22. Your desire to win could alienate important colleagues if you aren't careful; and it's all too easy to overstretch a muscle by trying to be the Spin-class superstar. With a little extra finesse — and a longer warm-up and stretch period — you will still rise to the top. And you'll get some help with that on Thursday, thanks to a solar eclipse in Virgo and your sixth house of savvy routines. Life-hack away using apps and even outsourcing to make your workflow more efficient. Clear out the junk drawers (or just abolish the whole concept of them) and purge your fridge of junk food. A health kick is on the agenda, too, so nab a ClassPass and try out some new studios. News about a job offer could arrive within two weeks of Thursday, or an exciting project could land in your lap. Though you may feel a little out of your league, the eclipse will lay down a challenge worth taking on!
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Taurus
April 20 to May 20
Newsflash, Taurus: Bottomless margaritas, curly fries, and otter pops are not actually food groups. This Monday, Venus decamps to Libra and your sixth house of healthy living, helping you find joy in all things clean and green. True radiance starts from within. Flip the lights on brighter by eating healthier food, drinking tons of water, and getting ample sleep. Moving your body will also feel great. No need to blow a paycheck for a fancy gym. Try these chair exercises for a little ballet barre class at home.
Romantically, Cupid could bring some solid slings and a few misfires. On Tuesday, expressive Mercury turns retrograde in Virgo, your fifth house of amour until September 22, which could stir up some drama in the love department. An old flame could come back into the picture, but proceed with caution there, as Mercury's backspins are known for concealing important information. Buried issues will need to be discussed, but don't go there when you're seeing red, or you could burn bridges with bae.
Thursday brings the sparkle back though. A solar (new moon) eclipse, also in Virgo, will bring positive developments for your love life. Single Bulls could sync up with a promising prospect — and things could heat up FAST! Already attached? This eclipse could swiftly accelerate your connection to its next logical level — which might even include a proposal or a pregnancy. Ready to make your mark on the world? Make it easy for people to “discover” you, even if that comes with some shameless self-promotion. Almost famous won’t be good enough now. Over the coming six months, you could hit superstar status!
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Gemini
May 21 to June 20
#Fire! Summer temperatures may soon be cooling, but you, Gemini, are just heating up. This Monday, amorous Venus moves into Libra and your passionate, PDA-fueled fifth house. Couple selfies? Keep 'em coming. If you're in love, you'll want the world to know it. Single Gems should mingle on the regular. Odds of meeting your fun-loving match are high while Venus lingers here until September 22! Socially, it's time to kick up your statement heels, because this glamorous three-week cycle could earn you a coronation ceremony as Queen of the Scene.
Matters on the home front might not be quite so dreamy, alas. From Tuesday until September 22, communication planet Mercury will be retrograde in your domestic zone. You could find yourself feuding with relatives and roomies — which might even tempt you to rent the U-Haul and bounce! Don't be rash, though, Gem. Decisions made in haste are always regrettable during Mercury's backspins.
But if it is indeed time to change your residential plan, get ready! Changes could happen very quickly thanks to Thursday's solar (new moon) eclipse, which is also in Virgo and your domestic sector. With the burst of momentum from this eclipse, you could totally revamp your apartment, changing the color and décor scheme in record time. (But think about starting with a Pinterest board and swatches until Mercury turns direct on September 22.) If you’ve been unhappy with your home base, this is your prompt to finally do something about it. Eclipses reveal hidden opportunities, and a dream listing could pop up while you’re sipping your morning espresso. P.S.: This could even involve a cross-country move. A woman you’d consider “a force of nature” could enter your world on the wings of the eclipse. Let her in: She’ll be a powerful door-opener for you over the coming six months.
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Cancer
June 21 to July 22
Does your house feel like a home — or better yet, a relaxing oasis? On Monday, beautifying Venus drifts into Libra until September 23, inspiring you to zhush your quarters. Cozy up with your inner circle and start pinning headboards, recipes, and throw-pillow schemes. Since social Venus loves to entertain, consider hosting a Labor Day jam chez Cancer — and even DJ-ing it yourself.
An old friend could come back into your sphere this week, too. On Tuesday, Mercury turns retrograde until September 22, taking you on a reunion tour. Choose your words with care, though. Since this Mercury backspin takes place in your communication sector, it's kind of a double whammy. Save any fiery sentiments to your Drafts folder. And no drunk — or drunk in love — texting! The only time to broach a conflict now is when you're in a calm, cool space.
And while you cherish your pals from back in the day (and don’t exactly trust people overnight), you'll also meet some new kindred spirits this week. On Thursday, your social-butterfly wings start fluttering at a faster BPM when a solar (new moon) eclipse in your playful third house launches you out of your cocoon and into a new scene. Explore new extracurriculars, like evening classes or sports leagues. The local scene will serve up some good times: Consider collaborating with a neighborhood bar or coffee shop to host an event this September.
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Leo
July 23 to August 22
Laughter is the best medicine this week, Leo. And with social Venus heading into your flirty, fun-loving third house from Monday until September 23, you are more than ready to lighten things up! You’ll see the divine comedy in a situation that seemed like a huge deal in August. That doesn’t mean you should sweep it all under the rug. But diplomatic Venus will help you clear up any conflicts in your social and romantic life — and with love. Single? Warm up those swiping fingers. Enjoying Cupid's "sampler platter" helps you expand your palate in love. Date around, because a new type could surprise you this week.
Is money burning a hole in your pocket? Alas, you can’t blame your tattered denim any longer, Leo. On Tuesday, you'll need to tighten up your budget, because messenger Mercury slips into retrograde in your finance zone until September 22. Put yourself on a temporary austerity plan. You'll be amazed by how creative and resourceful you can get when you are operating on a limited budget. Communications with coworkers could get a little snarly, too, so keep your fiery nature in check!
Thursday’s solar (new moon) eclipse (also in Virgo and your second house of finances) could bring some relief. Focus on your earnings, because a job offer or reputation-boosting assignment could land in your lap. Is there a gap in your skill set? Invest in training that will bump up your salary significantly over the coming six months. Remember: It doesn’t take a fortune to look like a million bucks. Polish up your image a bit: You could host a clothing swap or hit Buffalo Exchange.
Illustrated by John Lisle. Photographed by Christine Hahn.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Puffer jackets (or puffa, depending on your preference) are having more than a moment right now. Once the preserve of posh boys on the après ski or Miranda Hobbes strolling around Manhattan, the down jacket is now this season’s most wearable wardrobe update. Thanks to Demna Gvasalia, Balenciaga’s new (ish) Creative Director, the puffer feels chic – worn thrust off the shoulder with sharply tailored trousers and a bejewelled polo neck sweater. Lucky for our purses, it wasn’t just Balenciaga who prioritised the style, with Marques’Almeida showing puffers oversized enough to double up as a sleeping bag, and hot London label Isa Arfen presenting beautifully fluid jackets, rendered in deep magenta and charcoal velvet.
As much as we hate to remind you that winter is coming, it is a truth universally acknowledged that those who do not buy their coats in August shall live in eternal regret, so here’s a round-up of the best around...
A real winner from everyone’s favourite high street friend, the colour nods to Balenciaga and the slim curved cut is guaranteed to give you a waist; no mean feat from a puffer. Watch out for the handy hidden hood too.
If you’re feeling on the fence, may we suggest this extraordinary Jacquemus number. Half sharply tailored wool jacket, half quilted fuchsia fancy. Equally at home in the boardroom or at the bar. Depending on the boardroom and the bar...
Emerald green and outdoorsy, Light Before Dark’s hip length jacket comes complete with a neat elasticated panel on the back, cinching you in nicely. Its detachable hood makes it the perfect cover up, come rain or shine.
Channelling a modern day opera coat, this Stella number is a thing of rare beauty. Inky blue and crafted from the plushest velvet, this is without a doubt the most glamorous puffer on the block.
An eclectic puffer, deconstructed with a cut out shoulder, asymmetric hem and wraparound gingham ribbon. Wear yours with a thick ribbed sweater and a smile.
When I’m stressed, I react the same way each time. First, I can’t sleep. Then, I talk to anyone who will listen about the problem – friends, relatives, the person at the Food and Wine shop near my house who knows me as ‘Twix Lady’. Then, after a crescendo of crying over something insignificant, I figure out what the root cause is, usually thanks to some oddly sage advice from the man who calls me Twix Lady, and do something about it. A couple of months later, the cycle beings again.
I wish I could tell you what my boyfriend is like when he’s stressed, but he doesn’t really talk about it. And when he does, it’s after he’s sorted out the problem. While this is common to all male friends and boyfriends I've ever had, I don't feel I can speak on behalf of every human on the planet – except to say that men and women seeming to deal with stress differently is a thing.
Speak to anyone (and I spoke to a fair few) and they’ll agree. Take Gabby, 28 who works in London:
“[When I’m stressed] I want to talk loads about it. LOADS," she told me. "To the point where things get very out of control and we end up discussing entirely different issues because I'm unable to differentiate between the impact of my work being tricky and my boyfriend leaving his badminton bag on the kitchen table. He, on the other hand, wants no fuss, lots of space, a five second, comforting, effective cuddle into my chest, and NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT.”
But how much of this 'let it out/bottle it up' cliché is embedded into our make-up? Do men and women really cope with stress differently on a physiological level?
When women are under pressure, they release Cortisol, Epinephrine and Oxytocin during the stress response. Cortisol and Epinephrine together raise your blood pressure and circulate blood sugar.
"People used to think there was a difference in the amounts of Cortisol released during a stressful situation in women," Prof. Sapolsky says. "The thinking was women released more of this hormone, and that produced all sorts of nutty theories about women being emotional."
In fact, according to research, there is exactly the same amount of Cortisol released in male brains as female brains. The difference is Oxytocin, which counteracts the other two hormones by creating nurturing and relaxing emotions.
Women tend to nurture and protect those around them, while also forming social alliances – basically, reaching out to your mates – as an initial stress response.
Turns out, women secrete a lot more of this than men, creating what an influential study titled A New Stress Paradigm For Women, published in 2000, calls ‘tend and befriend’. The fight-or-flight response that people bang on about has often been seen as the typical human response to stress, but this new study argued that almost all of the stress studies in the past had been conducted on men. So it's actually a typical male response.
When female participants were studied, they found that women tend to nurture and protect those around them, while also forming social alliances – basically, reaching out to your mates – as an initial stress response.
“Women may be better at seeking and giving support, but because of this, they can trip themselves up. They tend to over-invest a lot more than men do, which can cause anxiety, stress, and depression," says Dr. Almuth McDowell, senior lecturer in Organisational Psychology at Birkbeck University.
While production goes some way to explaining it, there are other factors too. Studies have consistently shown that women are better at (at least some) aspects of emotional intelligence than men, and that men are, in general, less able to self-analyse, but more able to compartmentalise and rationalise.
"Men aren’t as good at recognising things within themselves," says Dr. McDowell. "I do a lot of research with the police which is, as you can imagine, a male-dominated and fairly macho culture, and what tends to happen is, when men are under stress and they have to be signed off, they are off for a long time. They’ve usually left it far too long to raise their hand and say they’re struggling."
This inability to recognise what 'too stressed' feels like is tragically reflected in the high instances of male suicide (the male suicide rate is now three times the female rate) and is often thought to also be a product of what’s known as 'stereotyping'.
Stereotyping is something that affects both sexes. Women grow up inundated with images of how female friendships should be, from Sex and the City (if you’re as old as I am) through to cream cheese ads featuring women sat around a table in angel wings gossiping about men. We're taught that women talk to their friends about their problems (often using pink landlines and three-way conference calls), and men don’t, or can't. Think of the stereotypical dad trying to give his son a talk on the facts of life, saying about three words and giving up. Or the stereotypical teenage boy who is awkward about talking to his mates about girls he likes. Think about the stereotypical teenage girl running to her mum when she has her first period. Or if not her mum, her female friends.
"We play these roles," says Dr. McDowell. "That's the hard thing. We grow up and we assume roles that we've seen others taking on, that we feel we need to take on. If you look at the workplace, which is where stress often runs high, research shows we associate certain attributes with males, including good organisation, assertiveness, asking for promotions. But men and women think the same things."
"If you look across the board, research suggests that men get clearer roles. In Politics, women are more likely to be given swing seats when they’re standing for elections than men," says Dr. McDowell. "This is changing, for the better, but this persistent inequality just makes it slightly harder and more stressful for women, as they're always on the back foot, or perceiving that they are."
A friend of mine has a rule that when she is the only woman in a male-dominated meeting, she has to say something relevant or important within the first five minutes, to establish herself, otherwise she feels her confidence drops and her voice gets trampled on. And whether or not this is the case, the fact that it's a trick women are having to employ, shows that sometimes we do have to work that little bit harder to get to where the guys are.
So do women and men get stressed out in different ways? Hormonally, yes. Environmentally, yes. And thanks to that ever-improving but frustratingly elusive gap in the workplace, women still have to deal with a little more stress than our male colleagues. But at least we're dealing with it while dosed up with Oxytocin.
Neither men nor women deal 'better' with stress – that's the take away here – but it's true that we're pretty different, on the whole, with what it does to our bodies and brains.
Maybe we'd do well to try and learn from each other? I'll think about that next time I'm curled in a ball yelling, "WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP WHO CURLS INTO A BALL?"
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?